update

ok i take back my words from the previous post.
We just had another talk.
He's still very much the same old bro who wants the best for me, and im really glad for that.
Thank you and Im sorry.
i've been a bitch.
i wish i was more mature and appreciative. Really.

I could never figure why (my)life tends to work in an absurdly cruel way. All the time.
There must be a secret Someone out there who takes pleasure in putting me thru rollercoaster rides.
The saddest truth i have to come to terms with right now, is that the one person whom i've looked up to for the past 2 decades, has suddenly become nothing short of a stranger.
The disappointment is just overwhelming and im tryin hard to swallow it.
I've been putting myself in your small and uncomfortable shoes.
Just when i thought you'd know how much this opportunity means to me and how badly im wanting it, you prove me wrong.
All that talk bout pursuing ur dream and what-nots, is all nothing but cheaptalk & bullshit.
Coz at the end it all, the one who decides if ur dream should come true isnt You or Me.
So who makes the final call then?
Heck. Maybe i should just shuddup and stop questioning about Life.

when the truth hurts, only a lie can be beautiful

on cloud nine

Never been that anxious checkin the mailbox.

Never felt this happy from getting an email.

In fact, i've havent felt such euphoria for the

longggggggesssssst time.

Honestly, maybe the feeling of havin butterflies

in my tummy doesnt feel that bad afterall.

heh.

Im keeping my fingers crossed.

The brudder needs to know bout this, say...,

sometime... ...tomorrow. . .?

Right.

Wish me luck people.

and i need shitloads of it.

Grrrr.

im done for the day.

Good night.