i will not expect.

so you wont disappoint.

i'm tired, you know?

i reckon u have no idea at all

that you're puttin me thru all this mental torture.

you'll never know how this feels but this level of emotional

roller coaster is seriously taking its toll on me.

i know i shld never allow that one mistake

that you made to leave me so insecure.

but what have u done to make me feel better?

Nothing.

i dont know how much longer i can hold up.

i just need you to remember that i exist,

though we're miles apart.

Is this too much for me to ask?

im a pernicious bitch

...but i dont give a flying fuck.

It must have been my lucky day yesterday

coz I chanced upon this photo of my
boy with this girl, J, on fb yesterday.
Very comfortable shot I say,

where she conveniently had her paws on my

boy's chest leaning against it, and my boy,
whom i suspect was too intoxicated to think right,
had his hand ard this sexy kitten(in J's friend's words I quote)
i mean, sure there's nothing wrong with such pics.
im nowhere a prude.

It was the comments that followed after which
bloody freaked the livin' daylights outta me.

I swear even if half the population of China were to throw

an insult at me, it wouldnt be as overwhelming

as the insults below.

Nice try. Really.
But how in the fuckin world would my boy

be compatible with this hideous tranny?!

*rolls eyes*

Its a fine line between self-comfort and self-denial.

Sad case if you're those who fall into the latter.

It's quite clear J's one of the deluded ones,

and im guessing so are her friends.

Just look at the irresponsible comments. haha.

In case anyone of you happen to see this post

and is a friend who's in a clearer state of mind,

please save these 3 girlies.

anyway, my boy's given me ample explanations

and sorrys and i've also gotten all the disgust

off my chest...

although my hair would still stand on ends

if i were to see that pic again, and also

when i think of the i-am-so-innocent excuses

she/they gave. Eeeewww!

And how can i get boys to know that it

takes a bitch to know the other?

i so totally know whats going on in their minds.

(although she's a whore but not that hard to decipher)

There's no such thing as an innocent bitch

so dont come acting like one.

Loser.

two-zero-zero-nine's first

so here i am,
cracking my head over this 2009 starter post
which obviously came way too late since we're
all almost quite done with a quarter of the year.
Talk bout S.L.O.W
but its better to be late then never, right?

I have vague memories on how the first

2 months of this year went by.

But I remember the gadget slut in me was

acting up so i ended up with this

and yea, as always,

im STILL very much enjoying my new toy.

i mean, with 15,000 apps, you must have

ZERO attention span to get bored eh.

So for the rest of 2009,

here are some of the things

i really would like to have for myself.

(not in order of importance)

1) Better memory.

Scatterbrain is my middle name.

i cant seem to rem things and people.

Very often i find myself asking

"hey where have i seen this person before?"

"oh fuck. whats his/her name again?"

or i'll walk to this place and then space out

coz i totally dont rem what i was supposed to do.

Seriously, with this dying memory at 25,

i dont know what will happen when im 52!

2) Bigger heart.

Not in actual size but in capacity.

Needa be able to see more good than bad,

adapt a higher level of acceptance & tolerance,

towards people and in daily matters.

Cant quite explain this but

i think you get the drift.

3) Less self-centered

I've came to realise that i can be a bigass

selfish bitch sometimes/most of the time.

I needa learn and KNOW that it really isnt

about ME, ME and ME all the time.

4) Broader mind

i know being judgmental is human

but i think im really too quick to judge.

I have this problem bout passing my

judgement on a person from just

1 thing/mistake he/she's done and then

throwing a quick death sentence.

5) 'Lighter' head.

Bullheadedness,

would be the death of me one day.

Recently i've been told by someone that

im too stubborn for my own good,

AND too much of an extremist.

I honestly dont get it.

Isnt it bout either i-like-you-or-i-dont?

i choose to believe there is no in-between

but maybe standing on the far ends all

the time aint gona do me any good huh?

6) A growing bank account.

Okay i know, its bout time i start saving up.

But...

why do people 'save up for rainy days'?
I swear rainy days sucks.

The only (TRUTHFUL)reason why i want a

a growing account is because i hate being broke

and like everyone else, i fuckin LOVE money.

Cut the bullshit about

"money cant buy you happiness".

ah-ha, did i just come up with a list of

new year resolutions?

haha.

ok... so i did,

and i have 9 months to fulfill all that.

and urm,

how bout a new bag(s) in the list as well?

xoxo

i just made like, super tiny insignificant changes to my blog,

hoping to get my blogging spirit back, i think?

ha.

oh wells... ...