Fallen

so, i cried.

fine, i'm not that strong afterall.

i cried over and over again since i got back

and i dont even know why this is happening.

there's so much frustration within me right now.

i wana be alone yet i dont wana feel lonely.

i wana come home to this place that belongs to me,

yet doesnt make me feel a sense of belonging.

whats mine have been taken away from me

and im tryin so hard to win it back.

but is it lost or is it not?

... ...

no one here understands.

no one's here to listen to what i have to say.

no one's here to wipe the tears off my face.

no one's here to show me love.

so why am i even here?

... ...

coz i dont wana lose.

i hate to lose,

esp to you,

thatfuckinincompetentyou.

please tell me this is gona be over soon.

Alzheimer's

Dont laugh.

i suspect i might be THIS close to Alzheimer's.

it seems as though Forgetful has become my midde name,

so bad its not funny anymore.

i cant seem to remember people, names and where

i've left my things just minutes ago.

As a matter of fact, i've never been like this before.

From what i remember, i used to be very good

with names, numbers and people.

Friends'/relatives' contacts were at my fingertips.

But now, i actually take a long time to recognise

who this person is, let alone recall his/her name/number.

When it come to work, i cant even remember whether i've

replied to an email, i cant remember what's in so-and-so's

order, and i cant remember how much is this or that.

So, what do u think is the cause of my forgetfulness?

Is it the bad air? Is it the people around me?

Is it the food i eat? Or is it just me, getting old?

Am i the only one goin thru this?

Someone please tell me you're with me.

Alzheimer's disease (AD), also known simply as Alzheimer's, is a neurodegenerative disease characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration together with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. It is the most common type of dementia.
The usual first symptom noticed is short term memory loss which progresses from seemingly simple and often fluctuating forgetfulness (with which the disease should not be confused) to a more pervasive loss of short-term memory, then of familiar and well-known skills or objects or persons. Aphasia, disorientation and disinhibition often accompany the loss of memory. Alzheimer's disease may also include behavioral changes, such as outbursts of violence or excessive passivity in people who have no previous history of such behavior. In the later stages, deterioration of musculature and mobility, leading to bedfastness, inability to feed oneself, and incontinence, will be seen if death from some external cause (e.g. heart attack or pneumonia) does not intervene. Average duration of the disease is approximately 7–10 years, although cases are known where reaching the final stage occurs within 4–5 years, or in some reported cases up to 22 years. .

The ultimate cause of the disease is unknown. Genetic factors are known to be important, and dominant mutations in three different genes have been identified that account for a much smaller number of cases of familial, early-onset AD. For the more common form of late onset AD (LOAD), two susceptibility genes have been identified: ApoE and SORL1..

Stages and symptoms
Mild — At the early stage of the disease, patients have a tendency to become less energetic or spontaneous, though changes in their behavior often go unnoticed even by the patients' immediate family.
Moderate — As the disease progresses to the middle stage, the patient might still be able to perform tasks independently, but may need assistance with more complicated activities.
Severe — As the disease progresses from the middle to late stage, the patient will undoubtedly not be able to perform even the simplest of tasks on their own and will need constant supervision. They may even lose the ability to walk or eat without assistance.

ok... this is fuckin scary.

shopping trip gone wrong

Sunday's HK shopping trip left me with a

fuckinswollenredaching,veinsalmostburst shoulder

all thanx to that idontknowwhyisitsoheavy bag,

a seriously painful foot sole, and in-grown

nails that prob grew 1cm deeper into the skin.

yuckeroos

to top it all, i ended up with just

essentials and nothing else.

Essentials meaning- shampooo, cleanser, makeup

and all the what-nots.

I'm sucha disappointment.

i mean, it'd have been more worthwhile if i

bought pretty clothes and stuff, but shampoo?!

what is wrong with me huh?

maybe i had a wrong shopping partner thats why

it was shopping-trip-gone-wrong.

if i had my muffin with me then it'd have been a

totally different thing.

we'd hav turned all the shops upside down and

bought so many (unneccesary)things...

then end up flat broke at the end of the day.

Now, maybe it was a blessing in disguise that i

didnt have my sweetie with me. My wallet was saved!

heh.

anyhow, WE NEEDA PLAN A HK TRIP hokay!!!

we walked thru this park from the TST port to the other side

of TST to do some early shopping.

frankly, i was pretty fascinated coz i've never seen so

much greens in HK before!

HK to me have always been skyscrapers and more

skyscrapers.

It was bout noon time on a Sunday and there were

actually quite a handful of pple in the park.

And it was 'favourite-Sunday-sessions' for the Philipinas!

when Philipinas in SG hang out at Lucky Plaza with their

banglas bfs, the ones in HK are chilling out and picnic'ing

in the park. This one(right pic) had a radio and they even

blasted some techno-shit while preparing their food!

Happening!!!

Random cam-whoring. I was perspiring underneath

that thin cardigan and shorts ok! HK's weather is a lil wrong.

This is cool. We met this HUGE group of protesters along

TST and trust me, it was an eye-opener! People in SG will

NEVER protest this way, and they even had traffic police

to block off the roads for them! I'd have cursed and sweared

if i happened to be drivin there then.I mean, of all places,TST?

busy street leh! Lunch time somemore!

Erm, i think it was the FaLun Da Fa going against China.

法论大法打倒中供

Goin against China? honestly that sounds crazy.

Like i always say, if each China citizen spits into SG just once,

all of us will drown and SG will just be covered in their spit.

now, HK isnt that difficult to drown, is it?

so please, dont try anything funny if you dont wana

die that way ok?

The thought of it makes me sick man damnit!

i can imagine all that 'eeww' look on ur faces now

I officially declare that im so in love with this

cold noodles. Its yummilicious!!!

Lookin at it now makes me hungry already.

If you go to HK, pls pls pls pls, you have to try this!

i love mine with seasoned octopus, sweetcorn and

quail's eggs, and spicy of course.

But it gets pretty messy so make sure you have

your tissue paper with you.

For those who are image-conscious(u noe who u r),

can forget bout eating this.

Then you are seriously missing out some good shit.

=)

ok, let me leave u guys with something pretty.

Say hello to my Playboy lappie? =)

sigh. im sorry i succumbed to temptation in the end.

sucha letdown.

all 女人街's fault lah! =p but its really pretty huh!

not fully done yet though. got lots more to go.

im just tryin out to see if the diamantes stick well.

so if it does then the whole lappie is gona go into

full fledge bling'est of the bling. lol.

im disgusting, but i like.. ..

(and i know YOU like too, hoh?) =)

this is what happens when i hav nothing better to do.

hmmmmm,

should i fill my cammie with these too? =)

gota spare my mobile(for now)coz its still quite new,

and bf warned me bout funny stuff on my mobile.

now that reminds me, i think he warned me bout

my lappie and cammie too *oppsie*

okie dokz, ending off for now.

spent too long updating this post.

back to work!

xoxo

totally aimless

hokay, i've decided that today's post is just gona be

endless ramblings.

why is that? - coz im doin a face mask now and i've

initially wanted to paint my nails whilst 'maskin'

but, i cant! coz i gota wash off the mask later, right?

so now we know, 'masking' and nail-polishing cannot go together

well well, let's see where should i begin.

... ...

today's been a surpisingly busy day for me at work.

It was a half-day for all the others, 'cept ME!

lovely eh?

and guess what i spent my beautiful saturday doing?
Filing!! yes, as in F.I.L.E'ing.

i was bloody filing all my client's order from 2006

and i almost went bonkers is the midst of it.

was THAT close to giving up but its actually

something i've wanted(needed) to do since last sept.

And being the procrastinator i always am,

only got down to doing it half a year later.

I must have been out of my mind, to decide to do this

on a lovely saturday.
What was i even thinking? ok, i WASNT thinking!

Fine.

This is how my table was while in the process of mad-filing.

Looked as though Katrina visited eh? (ok, not funny)

*~*

Taadaa!

I AM INCREDIBLE!!!
*mega-watt smile*

...

i like all things systematic ok!

Fusspot at her finest lah.

... ...

AH! i have this very sudden urge to cut my hair!!!

urgh!!! im soooo dead. i need ben!

my backside is so itchy its realli a pain in my ass!

(no pun intended)

sigh. i really dont like what i see in the mirror.

i know im just bored and i know i need a change!

AND i also know there's a very high possibility of

regretting it IF i really do cut my hair short.

i really wana have bangs but i know i will(might) regret it too,

plus, i've been(strictly)reminded time and again - NO BANGS.

the funny thing is, everytime ben says he's gona

TRIM my hair, i feel this itsy-bitsybit of pain in my heart

and i'll keep emphasizing that he said TRIM and not CUT.

then now? i've decided that i want a short-do ?!?! sheesh.

i know, im such'n indecisive bitch and its gettin even worse now!
so much so that i tink indecisiveness could be the death of me.

eventually.

ay, but then again, im not as gutsy as the past.

so i guess i'd prob be playin with the thought and not

gettin down to cutting it lah huh.

besides, i dont have ben here and NO WAY am i gona

let the people here cut my hair loh!!!

period.

... ...

oh yes! a friend of mine recently sent me a song and

i've been playin it on repeat mode over and over again,

as though its comin fr a broken down recorder!

its Officially Missing You by Tamia (i think).

sorry but im very bad with song titles and singers,

erm, and... genres. *sheepish*

i can NEVER rem their names nor know the genre.

haha, tokin bout this, muffin and i have been playin the

Guess-The-Song-Title game and hey, i have to

say she's pretty good at that! lol.

i mean, who'd hav thought of google'ing for the title

by typing in the entire lyrics of the chorus?!?!

*points at muffin and looks away*

she beat me, hands down man damnit!

(p/s: i havent found my "i love u,i love u,i love u" song!)

help me pls pretty?erm,mayb its rnb, mayb its jazz =)

... ...

alrighty. time to wash off my mask then its down

to nail-polishing session. not exactly lookin forward to

that coz its one helluva time-wastin' task man.

but, what to do? Vainpot is my middle name =)

... ...

Off to HK early morning tomorrow(later)!

yipperdoooossss!

*does the chicken little dance*

... ...

Till then, loves,

many many.

Muackssssss

oink

to usher in the yr of Miss Piggy, i got myself this!

heh.

awefully cute eh?

its a wrist support when u're using the mouse.

it feels like.. ..silicon (??). soft, cushion'y and a lil bouncy.

heh. makes me wonder if fake boobies feels like that too.

anyways, its supposed to glow in the dark as well!

shall test it tonight =)

p/s: just a sudden thought- if some1 produce a much bigger

version of this thingy, size of a pillow, wont it be very comfie?

guys prob kill to buy this pillow, right? *lol*