TGIF but

i woke up this morning feeling extremely worn-out.

i think i've used up all my energy and concentration.

too many things to do, way too much for me to handle.

and this has to go on for another week b4 bro comes back to my rescue.

wanted to take a good rest this morning and sleep in till noon

but my phone couldnt stop ringging.

Goddamnit!

now i realised, maybe im really not as good as i think i am.

Not as capable or so to speak.
maybe im not handling stress the right n proper way,

or perhaps, im just givin myself too much unnecessary pressure.

its so difficult to get things right,

and things just dont turn out the way i want them to.

u know how it feels when u tell urself not to let anything screw up

but they still screw up eventually?

since bro's not ard, i feel i have the responsibility to keep

the company in place.

dont i?

obviously its not as simple as i thought it might be.

sigh..i really dont know whats goin on.

im feeling so fucked right now.

i feel as though there's always pple out there waiting

to see me fall, waiting to see me fall so hard

and they can start laughing their hearts out.

i teared reading my bro's email to me last night

coz it was bloody hell, too encouraging.

he told me our clients were complimenting me,

saying that im very efficient, and told me to keep it up.

but behind all these, they dont know how i've been

pushing myself so hard to go on.

nobody cares bout the process, as long as they see results.
there were so many times i just wana let go and not think.

see, now this gives me more pressure to do things

to perfection right!?!?

ok, i really needa buck up.

im not gona let anyone have a chance to

see me fall.

and like what muffin said,

"what doesnt kill me only makes me stronger".

Thanks sweet.

im gona live by that philosophy too.

...

i.need.a.hug.

let's hope for a better tomorrow